The Gift Hidden in Pain & Rejection
Rejection, denial, and the moments when we’re forced to face ourselves — these are some of the hardest yet most transformative experiences in life. Until recently, I had never felt the sting of deep, soul-crushing rejection. But now, I see it as a lesson in humility. Life doesn’t hand you everything you desire, and sometimes, even logic fails to explain why things happen the way they do.
You can change yourself — your habits, your mindset — but you can’t change other people. You must accept them as they are, along with the circumstances you find yourself in.
This understanding has led me to ask: why do certain people become obsessed? Why do they fall into patterns of addiction? Where do these feelings stem from? In seeking to understand, you develop the ability to relate to others — not to join their struggles, but to empathize with them.
Imagine wanting someone so deeply, only for them to remain oblivious to your existence. You are not a part of their world. It’s a crushing realization, yet it brings clarity: rejection isn’t personal — it’s a part of life.
Every rejection, every pang of pain, builds our capacity for empathy. I couldn’t truly relate to a single parent, a divorced person, or someone clinging to a failing marriage until now. I couldn’t understand the frustration of loving someone who cannot or will not love you back, or why some people move from partner to partner, seeking fulfillment. These experiences were outside my world. Concepts like the narcissist and the empath were abstract — until now.
Now, I see the gift hidden in pain. It allows us to feel deeply, to understand what others endure. It teaches us that life isn’t about control — it’s about surrendering to the flow of time and seasons. The dry grass and withered flowers will always be replaced by new growth.
To understand that in life you have no control. It is pointless to try to control anything. Thankfully time is kind. Seasons will change and the dry grass and flowers that wither away would be replaced-
Whatever the human condition maybe, it is just nice to feel. To feel this deeply.